The Female Porno Pop Star
Oversized butt implants, gigantic talons instead of ordinary fingernails, exaggerated and hyper sexualised - most successful female popstars today are in the business of making sure we’re always left wondering.
Is that a music video or a segment from some pornographic film, who can tell?
The ones who’ve been around for the longest time are understandably running out of fresh new shock value tactics.
What’s next? The only truly shocking thing left for anyone to do would be to forgo all visibility and not be seen at all, but that won’t happen any time soon because the overblown image sells so well in a world desperate for a clear cut sense of identity.
“All the world’s a stage”, Shakespeare wrote and we couldn’t agree more living in this time, only now we would definitely be muttering under our breath, “more like a three-ring circus!”
Don’t judge me, but I have to confess I once wasted some of my precious time watching a famous female rapper explaining how her incredibly long talons did not hinder her ability to navigate life’s many difficult tasks. She proved her point by managing to crack open a can of Coke with amazing dexterity.
And then I immediately wondered how she would be able to deal with her children living under such self-imposed restriction.
“Mommy I’ve got a bug in my eye, can you please get it out?”
With those fingernails that might be a little unsafe and let’s not think about her own ability to perform basic tasks for herself - it’s mind boggling.
The effort that goes into maintaining this kind of identity is quite substantial that’s for sure, although I must admit critiquing such phenomena arguably requires even more serious heavy lifting.
The minute one attempts to highlight some of the more absurd aspects that are part of the showbiz world of glamour, it can easily be misconstrued as some kind of hate speech, when in fact it is an entirely legitimate observation. Using humor and over the top exaggeration does not mean I’m denigrating the artist as a human being.
Exaggeration, taking an idea to the very limit, will always be one of the best aspects of comedy.
If the overblown female rapper can bust out smart mouthed rhymes with gay abandon, I can also answer back in the manner that seems most authentic to my free expression.
Let’s imagine an infamous female rapper having a serious conversation with a stylist before a special event.
‘Listen – I need to look really extra tonight’, our girl says, trying to disentangle her hair with her supersized fingernails.
The stylist attempts to reassure her.
‘OK, I’ve got some great ideas don’t worry, you’ll look beautiful.’
Using one of her talons to crack open her Coke can, our very expressive rap star takes a sip and almost chokes on the idea.
‘Are you insane? That beautiful thing is so boring, I just need to look like an alien – duh!’ - Gorgeous Women, Cristina D’Riviera
